I was like, “did you see like an old man follow me in the bathroom?” And she was like, “John. That bathroom’s been closed for FORTY YEARS.” WHOOOOAAAA! WHOOOAAAOAOAOA!”
Lindsay's 22, she lives in Portland, OR, and she hates purple gift wrap.
Hi. I like Wes Anderson, Arrested Development, Scott Pilgrim, Jason Schwartzman, Jesse Eisenberg, Ben Folds, Logan Echolls, Andrew Garfield, Misfits, Pacey Witter, Simon Amstell, The Graduate, New York City, Seth Cohen, being Jewish, wishing I could be good at artsy things, and menu items served with club sauce.
style inspiration | mubi | tv habits
While in Austin this past weekend John, Joe Mande and I found almost all the locations from Friday Night Lights. John did his Buddy Garrity impression for most of the tour, which may account for why Joe only joined us on the first day of sight seeing. Yes, we did spend two days doing this.
It did take two days and it was completely worth it. For the record my Buddy Garrity impression is very very good. Some of the words I say best as him are “Lyla” and “Eric!” and of course, “the Boosters.” Saying the Boosters really helps me get into it. The best part of the tour for me was when we were at the real life Panther field (a functioning high-school called Pflugerville High) and I tried to take a photo of the real Panther athletes. Joe Mande correctly pointed out it was bad to photograph high school boys. Point taken.
“Lyla, I owe it to the Boosters” — Me as Buddy Garrity.
“I’m standing in the basement, and I’m holding a red cup—you’ve seen movies—and I’m starting to black out…”
(via slightlynicepear)
“Alright, here’s the number where we’ll be, and here’s where we keep the dog food, and you’re a horse”
a-they’ve never spoken!
And I go over to the Wolfgang Puck Express and I go, “can I have a sandwich, please?” and they go, “NO!!!” and I go, “ookaaaayy!” and they go, “you’re a little fat girl, aren’t you?” and I go, “nooooo,” and they go, “SAY IT!!!” and I go, “I”m a little fat girl!”
When I was a little boy, I was more like a 67 year old gay man that’s kinda over it sexually, ya know? I was just like an old queen. I would come onto the recess yard and be like, “Everyone, get out of my way! I just want to sit here and feed my birds.” The gym teacher would tell me to play kickball, and I’d be like, “you want me to do whaaaat?”
New in town,
John Mulaney’s new in town!
He’s spilling mustard on his shirt,
And he’s got some papers to deliver,
Oh no!
He’s successful and he’s got so many crazy friends,
Oh-oh,
John Mulaney is new in town!
(via scrappydont)
Got this cool and classy t-shirt at the Pop Up Wedding Chapel in the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas. I didn’t get married. Just went in to buy this. Its a play on the old “Mr. Right” notion.
I am going to see the Bill Cosby Tribute at the Paley Center.
If you ever see me staring off into space please know that I am thinking about the Huxtables lip-synching Ray Charles’ “Night Time is the Right Time” for their grandparents’ anniversary.
Above illustration by Kirk Demarais
uhhhhhhhhhh……
